Coke And Airports

The Traveler III
Originally uploaded by TSHolen

This has been, at least in some meanings of the word, a pretty interesting day. Not interesting as in genuinely intriguing and entertaining, more in the sense that ALOT of stuff has happened. A day filled with action. This day is the one the plan was to go back home to Norway for the Christmas holidays. Well, we usually pay a little extra to fly with SAS. For one: because they usually fly from Heathrow which is the airport closest to where we live. Secondly: if they fuck up (airlines are rather good at that), then they are also responsible for getting us back to Molde from Oslo because only they fly there.

Anyways, we managed to run a little late for our bus, so that we almost missed the connecting bus that'd take us to Heathrow. As we left the first bus we waved hysterically to the next bus, so much indeed that it stopped for us. That is something I believe the bus drivers are strongly discouraged to do. Some good luck (we thought).

We got to Heathrow, and made our way to the right terminal and the right gate. Only, the plane was said to leave some thirty minutes later than it said on our tickets. Well, a little postponed then, maybe? I tried the self service machines which told me to contact the service desk ('go fuck yourself!'). We went and talked to a lady in the desk who could tell me that:

'Sir, you're in the wrong airport'

Fuckety-double-fuck! Really, this only happens in movies! We were faced with two options: pay £277 a head to change the tickets to Heathrow tickets (ARE THEY MADE OF GOLD?!) or catch a cab to take us across London in its very entirety to the correct airport (thirdly: just give up the whole damned thing). The correct airport was London City Airport. Now come on, who in the name of what's-his-face has ever heard of London City Airport?! Everybody knows the airports in London are Gatwick, Stansted and Heathrow. No LCA. No no no (the only LCA that should be allowed to exist is the brilliant Lomo LC-A camera, which inspired the whole trend of Lomography) And second of all, when did SAS start flying from that rubbish airport? And why didn't anyone fucking TELL US? (well they probably did several times, but I'm taking the liberty to be angry and accusative nevertheless).

Anyway, the cab driver pretty much laughed at us when we told him our destination. Ninety fucking quid did it cost us. Besides from the unnecessary 'Did you REALLY go to the WRONG airport?' he was pretty much our hero. I wouldn't know this, but apparently going from Heathrow to London Fucking City Airport in an hour is some kind of feat. He was pretty nice about it anyways.

So, well that's pretty much it for today. Some sixty-something pretty painful and expensive minutes in a cab through London, no time for tax-free shopping (in England anyways, plenty in Norway) and we actually managed to get home. And as I get home I realize two things:
my bed is just unbelievably soft
I am no longer the master of my own house, as I was pretty much sent to bed by my mom (hmpf!)

Anyways I have to get up early tomorrow to have the dentist go on for about an hour about me drinking too much coke.
I have a theory about that. A theory of the type: conspiracy. How come everyone is totally addicted to coke? (and I mean the soda/fizzy drink, not cocaine, even though a lot of people are pretty addicted to that too) If you offer a cokeaholic (I am one, and proud) another type of fizzy drink, he will probably accept it (free stuff? yeah!) but he would by no means consider it equal or even similar to coke. Why is this? Coca-Cola was invented in the eighteen hundreds with the purpose to be some sort of medicine against nausea and headaches (I think). Anyways, everybody knows this, because this is what you would always tell your parents in order to get them to buy it to you (whether the headache/nausea was real or completely fictional). The coca in coca-cola is there because of the not-insignifficant content of coca leaves that used to be in coca-cola (cola is for the Kola nuts which is where the caffeine originates from). If you didn't know this, coca leaves are what you use to get cocaine. At some time the guys at cc decided it might be a good idea to reduce the content of COCAINE in the fizzy drink. So they started to use leaves which already had had the cocaine extracted from them. So-called 'spent' leaves. This is all, in accordance to the divine web page called Wikipedia (Wikipedia is your friend).

Oh, so it's not cocaine in it anymore... no no no, they 'extracted' the cocaine. I mean you really have to ask if there's not even the slightest chance that _maybe_ not _all_ of the _cocaine_ got _extracted_? Which again begs the question:

ARE WE ALL REALLY FUCKING COCAINE ADDICTS?!?!?!